06 April, 2011
05 April, 2011
Listening to the wind and the rain rattle both the trees and my neighbor's wind chimes.
The storms must have woken Emma up at some point, as she's cuddled up against me, snoring her kitten snore. So sweet, she still smells of last night's bubble bath, toothpaste and the coconut conditioner she loves. She turns 7 on Friday, and I think she has some lingering anxiety over 'growing up'. She has such a wild, precocious spirit, that the thought of the conformity of her 'growing up', is giving me a fair amount of angst as well. My wanna-be rockstar, with sensitive earlobes and a penchant for candles and vanilla sandlewood incense...how I wish i could cradle you in your youthful, brilliant innocence forever.
You with your Filipino grandmother's nose, and your American grandmother's delicate and slender hands. You with your well-timed comedic interjections that make even your overly cynical teen siblings guffaw with laugher. You with your soft little hands and pedicured, flowery toes, insisting it's the shoes, not your feet that smell so bad. You, my fae little pixie are most precious to me...
The house is quiet, for these brief few moments...as a home with 5 children is hardly ever quiet. In this quiet, I offer bountiful thanks for the Universe and Mother/Father God bestowing the mighty boon of you...to me.
I am forever blessed.
Sent from my iPhone. Please excuse any typos.
03 April, 2011
Upon waking this morning, the first thing I was thankful for was more than nine hours of uninterrupted sleep. The last few weeks have been phenomenally busy at work, making for long days and short nights. The rollercoaster my personal life has been mimicking has not really helped either. So a full night of sleep was a blessing of grace. The next thankful thought that entered my mind was being thankful that my children let me sleep, even though they had been up for hours.
Grace shows itself in so many ways.
Thankful for my high thread count sheets, as I always feel enveloped in their soft, coolness, even upon waking.
Gratitude for the ache in my joints that I felt when I woke….That ache meant I had a full day of officiating yesterday. Wrestling was my first love, and being able to officiate yesterday meant more to me than I can find words to give voice too. That ache equates to happiness.
I’m thankful for friends… friends who greet me daily via email or text or phone call, just as they did this morning.
I have gratitude for understanding, both that I receive and that I give. For those that love without judgment… I have much to learn from you.
I woke with a sense of gratitude knowing, and actually feeling that I am enough. That I work hard and I play hard, and I’m learning to rest hard. That particular attribute is much harder than the others. We are conditioned to work hard (or at least I was) from a very young age. Society, and sororities, conditions us to play hard. No one ever teaches you to rest hard. Maybe I’ve reached the age where rest is important, or maybe I’ve just started listening to my body, my mind and my soul and allowing rest when and where it need to happen. It’s still tough to not go 90 miles an hour all day long… but I’m happy to let my state of rest be a work in progress… as I am.
I woke with a sense of peace. A sense of peace that I can’t remember having since I was a child.
For the first time in a very long time, I woke with gratitude for being truly happy.
shade and sweetwater to you…