31 January, 2010

from the simple woman's daybook

January 31, 2010
Outside my window...my husband, changing the oil in his truck
I am thinking...that i need to plan a road trip to meet baby Sophie
I am thankful for...the fact that i can pick up and keep going, no matter what is in my way.

From the kitchen...pot roast in the crock pot
I am wearing...sweats and cashmere socks
I am creating...possibilities
I am going...to the grocery store (we need cat food)
I am reading...crochet patterns
I am hoping...for a good week at work
I am hearing...the sounds of the wii in the living room.
Around the house...naps and coloring and life
One of my favorite things...laughter
A few plans for the rest of the week: more crochet, practicing positivity at work, maybe a movie.
Here is picture for thought I am sharing...

29 January, 2010

happy, happy, joy, joy

we've been focusing a good deal on prosperity in our household this week. while we are a paycheck to paycheck kinda family, we usually have all that we need and some of what we want. however, in looking towards planning our future a little better and paying off debt, we are striving to open ourselves to new avenues of prosperity. Himself is looking at going back to school and i'm in process of opening my Etsy store, so that i can use my textile therapy as a means of generating additional income for our rather large family.

soo, my happy this week is that we took a big step in welcoming the Spirit of prosperity into our home by setting up a prosperity altar. (yay).

it's really very simple. a small taper candle holder and a place for charcoal and powder incense is all we have now. i'm going to be adding a picture of Ganesha later today, and later, a focal point for removing bad spending habits. i'm sure it will evolve the further into our prosperity journey we go, but for now, the less ornate the better. we did have some discussions about placing it somewhere in the house where it would be set apart, however we decided at the end to put it in the kitchen, on the counter next to the toaster. the decision to incorporate prosperity as part of our day to day, instead of something to be set aside and revered just felt right. living in a prosperity and abundance that we create felt more real than having a show of prosperity and abundance.

Himself and I have also decided to work on our spirituality more. We are an eclectic pagan household, and as such, our spiritual structure is what we decide it to be. imbolc, or the returning of the light, is next week, and we are planning a little larger celebration.

the last few months of work and stress have pushed me farther away from my healing practices and getting back in touch with all these things makes my heart sing and my spirit soar.

my happy this week has been reclaiming a little that the outside world has pushed away, and seeking to grow our prosperity and abundance, not just our monetary wealth.

many blessings....

22 January, 2010

my happy this week!

i had an absolutely awful, terribly horrible week at work.

BUT!  i had an incredibly productive week at work that ended on a high note!

AND!  i finished my Irish Lace Scarf, and i love it! (see blog post of earlier this week).
it took a week of steady work to finish, was very intricate and it makes me completely
happy in the face to have it done.  i've worn it the last two days to work and i'm thrilled with
how it wears and how it makes me feel.

funky and eclectic are the order of the day for me of late.

my happy for the day is just that.. that i'm me.


18 January, 2010

catching up

so, i woke up this morning to find myself squarely in the middle of January. and i sat back and truly wondered...'how the hell did this happen?'

it's not like i've been in a coma for an extended period of time, nor am i dealing with an overwhelming depression or family tragedy that would make me lose track of time.  but, holy hell, it's the middle of January. (and it's been a while since i've written anything of depth.)

lately, every time something significant happens, i think, 'i should write about that', and then come home and get lost in the miasma of my life (mostly all happy) and never get around to writing about any of those things that i previously thought were noteworthy.

so, a quick (and somewhat rambling recap)...  work remains that which it is... work.  over the last year, my job responsibilities have quadrupled and i'm roughly being paid the same as i was when i started nearly 4 years ago.  that is a continual frustration and a trigger point for bad feelings, so i'm just going to leave it at that. however, the positive is that the actual work that i'm doing is exhilarating and challenging and i leave the office everyday mentally fatigued.  we are efforting real change in what we are doing and we can see it...every day.  that alone makes the money issue a little less painful.

the oldest of the brood is still living with her dad.  it pains me in places where words can't reach, but i realize this makes her even more like me, and that i should understand.  she is following her own path, and even though i don't understand or even like it, i can relate.  i threw off the yoke of my old life so boldly, and painfully for many, really not giving a damn what anyone else thought, and began doing my own 'thing' so that i could be happy.  i guess she's doing the same. i just miss her. a lot.


we spent thanksgiving with our chosen family.  not all of them, because we have a large extended chosen family.  but with my soul sisters, pennie and d, and their families. it was a lot of love, a lot of laughter and Goddess help me, a lot of food!



i know it's a lot of pictures (sorry), but sometimes i think images can convey a thought or a feeling much better than words.

during this time, i was also suffering from a severely infected spider bite and had to have minor surgery to have it drained and packed and all that.  since i consider the spider one of my totem animals, i really had to take a few days to ponder the metaphysical meaning behind the bite.  i could only come to the conclusion that i needed to better follow my own spiritual path and do the things i wasn't doing, but that i knew i needed to do.  (wow, that was a mouthful.).  to that end, i moved my altar out of the living room where it's been residing for a few years, and into my bedroom. i placed it so that i can, quite literally, roll out of bed and sit immediately at the foot of my altar and be able to meditate.  the warming tones of incense are a lovely way to wake up.  and while i'm a little disheartened that it took me so long to do this, i'm meditating nearly every day, sometimes twice and am feeling much more calm and peaceful. 

an old friend, sistahgoddess camara, is going to be making a medicine doll for me.  we spoke (emailed) about it yesterday, and after telling her i'd gotten a nudge that it was time for a doll, she let me know that she knew who the doll was, and would keep me informed of the process.  i can't wait to meet her and give her a place on my altar and learn all that i can from her.

d came over a few days after that and started the process of locking my hair.  it's something i'd been toying with for ages, but unsure of the repercussions (work, family, etc.) i had just held back from giving myself the green light.  i'd finally had enough though, of limiting myself because of how other people may or may not like what i was doing and started the process.  and oh boy, is it a process!  today, my whole head is kinda fuzzy looking, as i need to spend some time with a crochet hook and pull in all the fly away hair.  not something i'm looking forward to, but i'll feel better when it's done.  over the summer, after my car accident, i cut my moderately long hair very short, almost in a pixie cut.  it was yet another of those 'i'm-letting-go-of-this-stupid-fear' things.  because my face is very round, i've been afraid of getting my hair cut short.  well, i did it, and it was really cute.  but the decision of whether or not to dread now or to wait until it was longer was plaguing me.  i went ahead and decided to do it now, mainly because i didn't want to wait. (patience is NOT one of my virtues).
this is me before dreads (horrible pic, please excuse it).

(Photography by Emma. =)....)

(lovely, blackberry level photography by me! )

you can see it's a little fuzzy, but hopefully you can get the gist.

having dreads makes me feel a little...freer.  my spirit feels unburdened a little bit more.
and no, i don't want to convey the impression that my hair makes me who i am, nor do i identify
by my hair, but it helps me realize that i can be the person i want to be, even if no one else understands.

we spent a very quiet holiday season in our mixed spirituality household.  being an eclectic pagan, leaning more dianic than anything else, but with some of my children being catholic, one being agnostic, the stepson being a church of christ christian, and Himself sort of figuring out where he fits in the pagan mindset, well, we had to make some decisions about how to celebrate the holidays.  and the answer to all of our questions was quiet.  we quietly spent quality time.  we laughed and played.  we spent all day the theatre being lost in Pandora and in the pandemonium of Holmes' mind.  we cooked glorious feasts and made sinful cookies and cakes.  we opened gifts, wrapped carefully in kraft paper and organza ribbon.  we colored and cut and glued and pasted.  we had nerf dart gun wars and found that the velcro-ish darts will stick to my dreads.  we played wii until the batteries in the wiimotes ran dead.

in short, we nested.  we cuddled.  we hid away from the world for a few weeks.  i received a text near the end of my vacation from pennie, saying i had been in her thoughts and she was checking in, as i'd been so quiet.  i told her that i was hibernating my soul.  taking in, and basking in all that has gone on for the year. (and we've had a busy year).

(solo and alice, sitting on the windowsill)

truth be told, even though we've gone back to work and school and have been forced to somewhat come out of that hibernation, we're still being quiet.  we're still mindful and restful and taking some of that quiet positivity away from the holiday season and carrying it into the new year.

the bright, big, shiny new year, once again full of possibilities and questions and answers.


16 January, 2010


I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way. ~pablo neruda

03 January, 2010

what i did on my winter vacation

i have a bit of a crochet problem... i'm a big girl, i can admit it.

i find that every available moment for the last year or so, i've been crocheting.  i've made blankets and scarves and hats and gloves and mittens and dishtowels and ... well, you get the picture.
i've made opera sleeves and rugs that double as wall art.
it's now january 3rd, and i'm back to it again.
on new year's day, i made a bookmark case for my son who collects bookmarks. on the second day of the new year, i started a set of fingerless gloves for my eldest son.
my mother has requested a bedspread and i have a baby blanket for a friend, and i'm determined to make a fancy, intricate scarf for myself.

i've procrastinated today and not done much with the gloves, simply because i'm pooped.  Courtney and I just finished a Julia Child's roast chicken dish and put it in the oven. 2 hours of prep + 2 hours of cooking time should equal a great dinner, only now i don't want to do anything but sit, veg and watch the kids play the Wii.

during my vacation (which was exquisite, btw), i had great plans for things i wanted to get done for my creative side.  work of late, has worn me out to the point of wanting to do absolutely nothing when i get home but cook dinner, take care of household necessities, crochet and go to bed.  it's been a little depressing in that aspect.

i did accomplish a lot of cleaning, cleaning out and organizing.  my house feels so much better and pulled together.  (when i get too busy with work, or just feeling lazy, housework is the first thing to be sacrificed.  not that my home is ever dirty in a pig pen sort of way, mind you.  but i do succumb to the librarian type stacks of books and organized chaos stacks of paper and such).  i cleaned out closets and bedrooms and bathrooms.  i decluttered my craft supplies, and organized my yarn stash. the only thing, organizational speaking i didn't do was a clean up on my crochet patterns. ha! i even worked on two computers that were in need of repair and got them both up and running.

the kids and i spent a lot of time playing Wii and coloring.  the girls and i made stained glass windows and colored mandalas.  we cooked good food, stayed up late and slept in.  there was luscious coffee in the morning, savory food and laughter in the evening. we debated mythbusters and had ethan itching to show us things that would and would not work. we went to the movies several times and had the checkout lady at the market trying to wrangle an invitation to our house for new year's eve.

the major thing i didn't do, that i wanted to do, was devote some much needed time to my creative side.  i began writing again, something i'd not done in a while, and i spent a half day working on my inspiration journal.  affixing all of those loose odds and ends that i've stuck in it over the last few months.

there is a very real feeling of gearing up now, of getting ready for the year ahead which holds so much possibility.  i have two major decisions facing me, in my craft work. i don't have time to do both major projects, so i have to do some intense risk analysis on which would be the better bet (yes, this is my day job sneaking it's way into my real life).

i have a book that is niggling in the background of my thought that i owe some time too.  my Muse, when ignored, is a bitch.  if i don't start paying some real attention to her, the next big thing i write is gonna hurt.

for now, life is a good.  i feel renewed and refreshed from my vacation.  as i sit here watching my cat sleep on my printer, i'm dreading ever so much the return to the rat race. but for now that return is inevitable.

as the soft light of the winter day dances its way across my kitchen floor, i smell the roast chicken that Courtney and Julia and I made, i hear the laughter of the children and my husband from the living room.

i welcome the burgeoning gifts of the new year with open arms.

shouldn't you?

 this song, time after time, by Margaret Whiting, completely captures my mood now...

01 January, 2010

sketch book inspiration

i have a problem with journals... meaning, i like to buy them, and buy a lot of them. 
i don't however, write in them. 
don't ask me why, 'cause i really can't explain it.
i think it's the possibility of the unexplored potential housed in an empty journal.

that, and i think they are pretty.

at some point last year, i forget when exactly, i bought a $5 sketchbook, with 60 lb. premium recycled paper.
it's not really a journal, like the one i use to write-write in.  it's turned into my inspiration catcher.

when i see a tweet with a pithy quote, or when i read a phrase in a book that moves me,
it gets jotted down.  when i read a blog post that resonates, it get's printed out and glued/taped to the pages
of the journal. 

it's nearly always with me, and i don't always write in it.  but in the even that i need it, it's there.
there's a section there for 'book's i must read', and another page or two set aside for blog ideas.

i'm finding that the older i get, the more i'm turning into that lady that is always scribbling in notebooks.
or crocheting. well, i'm doing one or the other.. always.

what is really cool about it is when i'm having a particularly trying day, i can just pull it out, flip through the pages and find something that sings to me. (i'm a sucker for a good serenade.)

what sings to you?