21 July, 2009

living life left-handed

i was in a car accident last week. no, it wasn't my fault, and this very nice woman rear-ended me when i was at a dead standstill.

this is my first injury-sustaining, attorney consulting, my car will be in the shop for longer than two days accident. i'm feeling a bit traumatized.
the first thing i'm traumatized about is my loss of bumper stickers. no, seriously. when the collision and repair guy told me that due to the damage to my rear lift gate (i drive a 2003 Honda Pilot), that they would have to replace the lift gate, and 'i'm sorry, but you're going to lose your bumper stickers.' as if i wasn't crying enough already, well that just pushed me over the edge.

my bumper stickers were placed on my car, post divorce, and were there as an act of independence and defiance for me. my spiritual beliefs are not mainstream, as i am what my friend Rhi calls a 'moon sister'. i don't want to be so shallow as to say that my bumper stickers define who i am, but they are definitely a mark of 'hey, coming through.' one of the first things i'm doing when i get my car out of the shop is replacing my bumper stickers. heck, i may even add a few more.

the second thing i'm traumatized about is that i'm actually injured, and typing this with my left hand. after 3 trips to the emergency room last week, it was determined that i have a bulging disc in my neck, in between C3 and C4.
this is causing a particularly interesting condition called cervical radiculopathy. all of these catchy phrases and terms mean that basically i have a really, really bad pain in my neck, and from that, my right shoulder, arm, elbow, wrist and hand are alternatively numb, tingling, tired, weak and painful. Yay, me!

i'm really trying to be a good sport about all of this and take it in stride, but it's really difficult. never having had anywhere close to a chronic pain filled condition, this hurting all the time thing is very, very frustrating. i've striving to remain hopeful and positive. i'm also getting new lessons everyday in how to do things left-handed, as my right hand is basically ineffectual. i'm typing this post left-handed, actually, and even though it's taken me nearly an hour to do it, i'm very happy that i am able to write it.

i am missing certain things though, like being able to pick up my children (i was told no lifting over 10 lbs). like crocheting, which for me is a sort of active mind meditation (and, i have one sock complete. the pair is ready to be finished.) i also can't paint, or write with a pencil and paper (i've always loved the tactile sensation of writing with a pencil and paper.) i'm having some difficulty staying at work and sitting at my desk, as the discomfort it causes, is, well, uncomfortable. the doctor's are making small noises about short-term disability, but for the time being, i'm not listening and just making an attempt to adapt.

on a very happy note, i found these lovely notes of affirmation at Kind Over Matter.

i have lots and lots of lovely ideas of what to do with them, but i may have to employ my dear hubby to cut them all out for me, as i know that is something i'm not even going to attempt to do left handed. what wonderful and amazing thoughts to create and share with the world! to the very talented ladies at Kind Over Matter, kudos!

1 comment:

  1. I heard a saying once which said that when the Goddess wants to get your attention, first she throws a pebble. If you ignore that, then she throws a brick. Ignore the brick, and she throws a dump truck.

    Last year, it was your foot (pebble), and this year it's your hand (brick). I don't know what form the dump truck will take, but try to avoid it, ok? As someone who *routinely* gets hit by metaphysical dump trucks, I can assure you that they're no fun. :)

    As to why She's trying to get your attention, or what She's trying to show you, I don't know. And, any guess I could make would just be a case of me projecting my issues onto you, so my guesses are no good.

    The only advice I can give is to look at the pattern, and figure out what the injuries force you to pay attention to in your life.

    I believe that everything happens for a reason. If you believe the same thing, then try to find the reason. Finding the reason will let you avoid the dump truck.

    Of course if you *don't* believe that everything happens for a reason, then just chalk it up to "sh*t happens" :)


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